Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
1. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
3. Can we yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
5. How do a fool and his money get together?
6. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?
9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
14. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
15. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
16. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to about them?
17. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
18. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
19. Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?
20. How come there are no B batteries?
21. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
22. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?
23. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
24. How is it possible to have a civil war?
25. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
26. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
27. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
28. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
29. If you melt dry ice, can you take a bath without getting wet?
30. Crime doesn't pay... does that mean that my job is a crime?
31. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
32. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?
33. How do you throw away a garbage can?
34. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
35. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
36. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
37. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
38. If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
39. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?
40. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
41. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only come 8 to a package?
42. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
43. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
44. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
45. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
46. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?
47. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
48. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
49. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
50. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
51. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
52. When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
53. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
54. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
55. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
56. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
57. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes -- why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
58. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?
59. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
60. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
61. What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
62. If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
63. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
64. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
65. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
66. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
67. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
68. What's another word for thesaurus?
69. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
70. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
71. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
72. If someone thinks you're superficial, what's the big deal? It's just on the surface!
73. On one hand, be indecisive; but on the other hand, don't.
74. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
75. The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
76. Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
77. What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
78. How do you understand ambiguity?
79. Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness (or, it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous).
80. There's no such thing as nonexistance.
81. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
82. One should never generalize.
83. Avoid cliches like the plague.
84. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
85. Always try to do things in chronological order.
86. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
87. An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
88. Don't chew or eat with your mouth full.
89. It's Deja Vu all over again.
90. If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.
91. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
92. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
93. If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.
94. The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.
95. Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
96. Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
97. When all is said and done, much more is said than done.
98. Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
99. There are only three kinds of people... people who can count and people who can't.
100. What do people in China call their good plates?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
This is a collection of inspirational quotes for difficult times. Life is hard and unpredictable... just when we think we've got the hang of how it all works, it changes. When we are feeling down and out, many times, one thought or idea can turn it all around for us. Some quotes make so much sense that, at times, it seems as if they were written just for you. A word of encouragement can always lift us out of our misery by putting things into perspective, and that is because they come from the depths of experience and wisdom. Further, they come from people who have already been where we are now...
Inspirational Quotes - Various Authors
1. "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." - Thomas Edison
2. "Tough times never last, but tough people do." - Robert Schuller
3. "Arise, awake, and stop not till the goal is reached." - Swami Vivekananda
4. "I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln
5. "It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves." - Edmund Hillary
6. "Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul." - Ezra Taft Benson
7. "To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." - Bertrand Russell
8. "Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
9. "Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
10. "What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
11. "Little minds have little worries, big minds have no time for worries." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
12. "Start where you are with what you have. Make something of it and never be satisfied. - George Washington Carver
13. "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan
14. "When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." - Henry Ford
15. "The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work." - Harry Golden
16. "Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it." - Michael Jordan
17. "My attitude is that, if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength." - Michael Jordan
18. "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." - Ernest Hemingway
19. "If you're feeling low, don't despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning. - Anonymous
20. "Challenges and difficult times aren't just things that occur to someone else. The secret is in learning to turn problems into positives and attacking each issue with action, not inaction." - Byron Pulsifer
Live One Day At A Time And Make It A Masterpiece:
A To Zen Of Life - Dalai Lama
A void negative sources, people, places, and habits.
B elieve in yourself.
C onsider things from every angle.
D on't give up and don't give in.
E everything you're looking for lies beyond the mask you wear.
F amily and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches.
G ive more than you planned to someone.
H ang on to your dreams
I f opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
J udge your success by what you have to give up in order to get it.
K eep trying no matter how hard it seems.
L ove yourself.
M ake it happen.
N ever lie, steal, or cheat.
O pen your mind to change, but don't let go of your values.
P ractice makes perfect.
Q uality not quantity in everything you do.
R emember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
S top procrastinating.
T ake control of your own destiny.
U nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.
V isualize it.
W hen you lose, don't lose the lesson.
X cellence in all your efforts.
Y ou are unique, nothing can replace you.
Z ero in on your target and for it.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
On December 18, 2007, the United Nations General Assembly adopted resolution 62/139, tabled by the State of Qatar, which declares April 2nd as World Autism Awareness Day (WAAD) in perpetuity. Her Highness Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser Al-Missned, Consort of His Highness Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani, the Emir of the State of Qatar, supported the campaign for a World Autism Awareness Day through the current 62nd UN General Assembly Session, garnering consensus support from all United Nations Member States.
This UN resolution is one of only three official disease-specific United Nations Days and will bring the world's attention to autism, a pervasive disorder that affects tens of millions. The World Autism Awareness Day resolution encourages all Member States to take measures to raise awareness about autism throughout society and to encourage early diagnosis and early intervention. It further expresses deep concern at the prevalence and high rate of autism in children in all regions of the world and the consequent developmental challenges.
World Autism Awareness Day shines a bright light on autism as a growing global health crisis. WAAD activities help to increase and develop world knowledge of the autism epidemic and impart information regarding the importance of early diagnosis and early intervention. Additionally, WAAD celebrates the unique talents and skills of persons with autism and is a day when individuals with autism are warmly welcomed and embraced in community events around the globe.
By bringing together autism organizations all around the world, we will give a voice to the millions of individuals worldwide who are undiagnosed, misunderstood, and looking for help. Click here to visit the World Autism Awareness Day website for more information, a world-wide schedule of events, and autism media/resources.
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