Marriage Busters & Solutions

1. The Stress of Parenting

Buster: This is, without a doubt, the biggest bust that keeps a spouse from enjoying the other big bust in this household. Children are adorable and sweet, of course, but caring for them can often require putting everything else on hold. They can turn your once spicy union into a business operation.

Solution: Come up with a plan to get those kids in bed early and stick to it! You'll both get some much-needed alone time and adult conversation time. Communication is necessary to keep your union strong... communication that doesn't include Dora the Explorer, requests for sippy cups, and complaints about who stole whose fork.

2. Internet Overload

Buster: It's easy to think we're getting a lot done in our fast and savvy internet world. After all, we connect on Facebook, we schmooze on LinkedIn, and track news as it's happening on Twitter. But, the person we should be downloading at a slow and steady speed is our spouse. Check out In Praise of Slowness by Carl Honoré and join the movement to reconnect with real people, instead of just those on your BlackBerry.

Solution: Set boundaries on your computer time once you finish reading this post.

3. Letting It All Go

Buster: Are you or your spouse guilty of mood killers like passing gas in bed, forgetting to put on makeup, or saving flower shopping for funerals only? It's easy to become too comfortable around each other, but maintaining romantic rituals and some mystery strengthens intimacy.

Solution: Remember the early stages of your relationship and make an effort to treat your spouse like you're on your first date again. Surprise her/him from time to time with sweet gestures that will be appreciated, whether it's an unexpected rubdown after a stressful day at work or a ticket to that new movie they've dying to see. Do it, just because...

4. Lack of Exercise

Buster: Not breaking a sweat.

Solution: Exercise... it really is that simple. Feel-good endorphins and instant stress relief will put you in a better mood, not to mention boost your self-esteem.

5. Forgetting Why You Fell in Love in the First Place

Buster: Taking your spouse's qualities for granted. The qualities that you fell in love with that your spouse embodies are often the same quirks you may frustrated with now, and they feel the same way about you.

Solution: Practice gratitude by writing down a list every day of what you love most about your life. You really shouldn't have a hard time thinking of your spouse with appreciation if the first things you are thankful for are safety, your home, the kids, and the stability of your life despite a crazy economy. Kinda makes you feel like a brat for complaining in the first place, doesn't it?

6. Skipping Out on Your Interests

Buster: Forgetting who you were before you got married.

Solution: Attend your old dance class again, start a new stimulating project, go after that job you've always wanted. All these activities may seem small, but it's amazing how much we expect our spouses to do for us when there's often answers we can find within ourselves. Plus, maintaining your independence allows you to share more with your partner and gives you more subjects to talk about.

7. Placing Blame on Your Partner

Buster: Thinking that your spouse is the head of the universe.

Solution: Relinquish some of that power to a force outside yourself and get in touch with your spiritual side. Once you realize you can't control every circumstance, it can take some of the pressure off of your marriage.

8. Forgetting to Have Fun

Buster: Taking yourself too seriously.

Solution: Try a new recipe. Get a haircut. Walk the neighbor's dog. Buy a bathroom joke book. Do anything that will make you crack a smile or bring a dose of joy to your life.

9. Falling Behind on Your Reading List

Buster: Letting your bookshelf become dusty and untouched. There's a whole world out there ready to be discovered through your local library and bookstores everywhere. And, don't forget the added convenience of those wonderful electronic readers we have nowadays!

Solution: Get your mind off of your problems by escaping in a novel or becoming engrossed with current events. Intelligence is a major turn-on.

10. Poor Diet Choices

Buster: Overindulging makes you feel sluggish and tired.

Solution: Incorporate a healthy, balanced diet to feel and look your best. This change will translate to the bedroom by boosting your energy and eliminating insecurity factors, such as a bloated belly.