Jonesin' To Be The Joneses

Recession Concessions

We all know what it's like to want what other people have and then, we spend more than we really want to or should to get it, whether it's a new pair of shoes or a flat-screen TV for the family. Believe it or not, "Keeping up with the Joneses" is not necessarily something we do consciously, but it's almost always very costly. So, why do we work so hard to keep up?

It's actually in our nature. Whether it's the crowd, the herd, the pack, or whatever... we humans want to fit in and be accepted. Research has shown that other people affect just about everything we do in our day-to-day lives. Likewise, when it comes to money, studies show that if we surround ourselves with "big spenders", we're likely to spend more ourselves. And, everyone has a story...

There's the couple who felt pressure to take pricey vacations with family even though they preferred to stay home... or the multitudes of women who have felt obligated to take on the expensive role of being a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding, even though they couldn't afford to buy a fancy dress or fund a bridal shower. So, how can you fight the pressure to spend more than you can afford? Start by trying these few steps:

1. Wikipedia: "Keeping up with the Joneses" is a catchphrase in many parts of the English-speaking world referring to the comparison to one's neighbor as a benchmark for social caste or the accumulation of material goods. If you fail to "Keep up with the Joneses", it is perceived as demonstrating socio-economic or cultural inferiority.

Now, deep down inside, you know that nothing could be further from the truth, so start acting like you know it. The perception of being "rich" depends on where our "treasures" are mentally stored. Some of us just have our "treasures" stored in the wrong place (i.e. in money and things as opposed to the loved ones and people in our lives).

2. Avoid costly situations: If you're worried that dinner out or a birthday celebration at a restaurant could be a drain on your budget, just say "no". Simply send your regrets and then, invite the person over to your place to celebrate on another night with dinner or something as simple as tea and cookies. You can also get creatively frugal when it comes to celebrations, like getting together for a slumber party, complete with movies and popcorn.

3. Set clear family money rules: There are many things you won't buy because you can't afford them, like a new car or an expensive vacation, and that's nothing to be embarrassed about in the least. In fact, it's good for your children to understand the importance of "living within your means". It's also okay to say no to your kids' wants if they aren't in lockstep with your family's values, even if your kids complain that "everyone else has it." Just be honest about your reasons and tell them they'll get to make these decisions when they have their own kids and money.

4. Find a FBF: If you know someone who's great at actually saving money in a BANK rather than at a store SALE, recruit that person to be your "Financial Best Friend". The next time you need to make a purchase, ask them to help you stick to your budget. It's like having a workout friend who pushes you to do those extra crunches and push-ups. Now, that doesn't mean you have to ditch your spendthrift friends... just avoid shopping with them. Also, look for a few FBFFs... "Financial Best Friend Families" who share your values.

5. Focus on the "plenty" in your life: These days especially, you don't have to look very far to find someone who is struggling to make ends meet more than you. So, remember those in need and give what you can. In this area, it's great to try to keep up with or even outdo the Joneses! Find ways to donate what you can afford and/or your time whenever possible. The blessings you'll receive in return for such acts of kindness always have a way of coming back to you at a time when you need it the most.