100 Things That Make You Go, Hmmm...

1. Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

2. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

3. Can we yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?

4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

5. How do a fool and his money get together?

6. Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?

7. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

8. If a train station is where the train stops, what is a workstation?

9. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

10. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

13. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

14. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

15. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

16. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to about them?

17. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?

18. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

19. Did Washington flash a quarter when asked for ID?

20. How come there are no B batteries?

21. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

22. Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars?

23. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

24. How is it possible to have a civil war?

25. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

26. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

27. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

28. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

29. If you melt dry ice, can you take a bath without getting wet?

30. Crime doesn't pay... does that mean that my job is a crime?

31. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

32. How do you know that honesty is the best policy until you have tried some of the others?

33. How do you throw away a garbage can?

34. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?

35. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

36. Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

37. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

38. If you're in a vehicle going at the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

39. What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

40. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

41. Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot dog buns only come 8 to a package?

42. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?

43. Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

44. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

45. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

46. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what it's all about?

47. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

48. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

49. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

50. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

51. Why is the word abbreviation so long?

52. When companies ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

53. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

54. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

55. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

56. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called shipment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

57. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes -- why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

58. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?

59. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

60. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

61. What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

62. If fire fighters fight fire and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?

63. If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

64. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

65. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

66. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

67. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

68. What's another word for thesaurus?

69. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

70. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

71. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

72. If someone thinks you're superficial, what's the big deal? It's just on the surface!

73. On one hand, be indecisive; but on the other hand, don't.

74. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

75. The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

76. Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

77. What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?

78. How do you understand ambiguity?

79. Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness (or, it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous).

80. There's no such thing as nonexistance.

81. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

82. One should never generalize.

83. Avoid cliches like the plague.

84. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

85. Always try to do things in chronological order.

86. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

87. An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

88. Don't chew or eat with your mouth full.

89. It's Deja Vu all over again.

90. If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure.

91. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

92. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

93. If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for two weeks.

94. The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.

95. Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.

96. Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?

97. When all is said and done, much more is said than done.

98. Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

99. There are only three kinds of people... people who can count and people who can't.

100. What do people in China call their good plates?