Christmas Traditions, Trees & Trimmings

The holiday season was quite different for us this year because it was the first Christmas without our daughter and grandson living in the house. As a result, we didn't put up a Christmas tree, mainly because there are no small children here anymore and I just felt like a much-needed break from doing it... perhaps, for all time. We got up early on Christmas morning so we could finish preparing our holiday meal, but not nearly as early as we did when there were young children in the house who were anxious to get up and see what Santa had brought them. We sat down to eat at 1:00pm and my mother came over to join us. After that, the three of us were off to our daughter's house to spend the afternoon with her family.

When I got married and moved out of the house, I remember that my mother and father offered me their Christmas tree with all of the trimmings, along with the proclamation that they would not need it anymore because they didn't plan to continue the practice of putting up a tree. It turned out that they planned to spend the Christmas holiday with me and my family in the coming years so, in their minds they no longer needed to have a tree. Because money is always so tight when you're just starting out, I appreciated the offer and gladly took the Christmas tree off of their hands and on with me when I moved out of the house. I told myself that we could always get a new tree if we ever reached a point in which "money was no object" or the tree just fell apart, whichever came first. The important thing was, taking that tree gave me something called "time".

For many years, I used that tree and thought nothing of it while our daughter was growing up. It was about 12 years old when I left my parents' house with it so, it had seen a lot of Christmases already. Just as they planned, my parents always came over to our apartment on Christmas day to spend time with my family. They got there bright and early to watch our daughter open her presents and enjoyed the holiday meal with us. During our daughter's elementary-middle school years, we were living in a slightly larger place, so my parents' Christmas visits became a two-day affair. They would arrive on Christmas Eve and spend the night so they could actually participate in putting our daughter's gifts under the tree and be there when she woke up on Christmas morning.

Sometime during our daughter's middle school years, she began to notice that the ol' Christmas tree my parents gave me was leaning whenever we put it up. For years, she worried me about getting another tree and I always said... "Oh, that tree is not leaning. It's just fine." The thing is, it actually was leaning but I just didn't want to buy another tree. Like most kids, I always thought that she cared more about the presents under the tree anyway so, it didn't matter. By the time our daughter was about to start high school, my parents reverted back to coming over only on Christmas day. Shortly thereafter, my father's health began to fail him and he could no longer accompany my mother to our house for the holiday. My mother had to shorten her time with us for fear of leaving him alone at home too long. She usually left a little after the holiday meal, but she would always make a plate and take it home to him. This continued until my father’s death in May 2002 and his presence is greatly missed, especially at this time of the year.

Some years after our daughter finished school and was working full-time, she decided to just "take the bull by the horns" and buy us a new Christmas tree because we wouldn't do it. Now, mind you... by this time, the Christmas tree my parents gave me was 30+ years old. Despite the lean, it was still a pretty good tree to me and, you know, they just don't make Christmas trees that will last that long anymore. (Famous last words when you just don't want to let something go, right?) Anyway, the tree that she picked out and purchased was very nice... she even bought some new trimmings for it too. It was much fuller and a little taller than the one my parents gave me so, we finally retired that ol' tree and threw it away. Now, even the tree that she bought has seen several Christmases.

When our daughter was preparing to get married and move out of the house earlier this year, I found myself saying the same thing to her that my parents said to me. I told her to take the Christmas tree that she bought with her, along with the proclamation that we probably wouldn't be putting up a tree in the coming years. I even let her know that we wouldn't need the tree because we could just look at it when we visited with her family on Christmas day. Well, she opted not to take the tree at that time, but we're still holding it and all of the trimmings down in the garage for her, just in case she should change her mind in the foreseeable future. If it turns out that she never takes it, I guess the passing on of the family Christmas tree will end with me.

Another important part of our holidays over the years was the annual visit that we received from my husband's parents on Christmas day. Shortly after we finished the holiday meal, they would stop by and spend a few hours with us and my parents before they continued on their way to another relative's house for their holiday meal. I remember that my mother-in-law was not a fan of cats and my beloved tabby cat of 16 years, "Pebbles", was usually placed in the basement during the few hours that my husband's parents were visiting. At times, it often felt like we had two children... our daughter and "Pebbles". Some of you might even remember her infamous paw print on the Christmas cards that we sent out for many years. If you happened to notice one Christmas that her paw print disappeared from the cards, it was because we had to put her to "sleep" in August 2004 after it was determined that she had intestinal cancer.

Last, but certainly not least, there are the two Christmas gatherings that my husband's larger families have each year. On his father's side of the family, there is an annual Holiday Cabaret which is usually held around mid-December; on his mother's side of the family, there is an annual Christmas Dinner which is usually held a few days after Christmas day. Over the years, I have enjoyed attending both of these family gatherings with my husband, daughter, and (in recent years) grandson. Unfortunately, my husband lost his father in June 2002 (just one month after my father passed) and later, his mother in May 2008. Needless to say, their presence is greatly missed at this time of year too.

During the course of this last decade, we entered into a stage of life in which the time had come for three of our parents to leave us. My mother is now the lone surviving parent between us and we thank God for her each day. We already know that most of our years here are behind us now and with that being the case, we must focus on making the most of the days ahead. Gone are the days in which we can tell ourselves... "Oh, we've got time!" or "We've got our whole lives ahead of us!" And, as we struggle to stay in touch with our past so we will never forgot from whence we came, we must also keep moving forward so that we can continue to be a blessing for as long as we can to those who we will ultimately leave behind one day. For me, nothing drives that point home more than looking into the faces of our grandchildren... and, by the way, the little girl with Santa inside the Christmas tree ornament is Tasha.

This post is dedicated to the memories of Roosevelt Williams, Andrew King, and Faye King.