IN-N-OUT is Libra and it's one of the only fast food places where people go to take pictures. The vanity of it all is very fitting for a Libra. This restaurant is overrated, but will forever be popular because it’s a cool place. They only have four things on the menu, so it’s easy to order. Similar to a Libra, they are cool but not much goes on in their empty airheads so you can talk to them with ease. Much like lying Libras, everyone lies as if IN-N-OUT is good.
Dunkin’ Donuts is colorful and fun, so it's Aquarius. Sometimes they give you the best donuts and iced coffee you've ever had, then the next day they give you stale donuts and watered down coffee just like a mood-swinging Aquarius. You never know what you are getting. It’s always a hit or miss with them. You'll still always go because when it is good, it’s very good... much like friendships and relationships with an Aquarius.
McDonald’s is Gemini. This is one of the most popular fast food chains and even though it gets a lot of hate from people who claim not to eat there, McDonald’s still gets tons of business. This is the epitome of a Gemini. People don’t eat at McDonald’s because they have the best food or the best customer service. They eat at McDonald’s because it brings out their inner childhood. They remember as a kid they loved McDonald’s and eating there gives them that childhood comfort. This is similar to being friends with a Gemini. They bring out your inner child and even if you hate their other qualities, they will always have a special place in your heart. When you are eating McDonald’s, you think you're getting beef but it could be horse meat. Same with a Gemini. You think you are getting the nice twin, but the evil twin might come out.
Waffle House is Aries. Chaotic, disorderly, and wild. You never know if you are getting a nice time with them or a fight. Actually, the fighting is what makes it a great time. The food isn’t the greatest, but the vibes are always there just like an Aries. You get your food quick without much of a wait. This is similar to an impatient Aries who likes to make decisions quickly and live a more fast-paced life. You have to know how to fight to work in a Waffle House and it's the same if you are friends with an aggressive Aries. Be prepared to fight or de-escalate a fight.
Taco Bell is Sagittarius because it’s only good when you are drunk. Any other time, it’s too much just like a Sag. They are fun but they don’t know how to chill out sometimes. Taco Bell always removes the best things off the menu, just like a Sagittarius. They will literally disappear without a word, then come back in your life out the blue ready to communicate and have fun. Anytime you eat at Taco Bell, you start pooping for hours and regret it... but, you'll still eat it again because you had a good time doing it. Similar to being friends with a Sag, they will have you doing things you regret but you will enjoy it in the moment.
Chick-fil-A is Capricorn. A perfectionist, traditional, and structured. And yes, much like Capricorns they may have stupid opinions that are offensive and outdated, but everybody still deals with them because they get the job done. You don’t have to double back because they didn't get it right the first time. Capricorns think God left them in charge and so does Chick-fil-A.
Popeyes is Pisces and it makes sense it is tied to Louisiana. Pisces are natural born psychics. Popeyes gives you comfort food but if you eat too much, you end up with high blood pressure and it's the same with Pisces. They will make you feel comfortable and at home, but they can be overbearing. Popeyes is always out of something or forgets to give you the extra Jalapeños you requested. Similar to Pisces, everything can be so good but they make things difficult that should be an easy process.
Starbucks is Leo because it is the most popular for doing the bare minimum. It's all about the aesthetic, so it being a Leo is pretty self-explanatory. Starbucks' slogan is “It’s not just coffee, it’s Starbucks” comes across with a lot of Leo energy. They think they are the humans of humans and Starbucks thinks they are the coffee of coffees.
Five Guys is Scorpio. It’s very mysterious and secretive like Scorpios. A lot of people have never been to Five Guys, but they have heard good things about it. People who eat at this restaurant love it, but don’t go often because it cost too much. It's the same with Scorpios. If you want to get to know them, it will cost you your soul. Five Guys fries are always salty and so are Scorpios.
IHOP is Cancer all the way. It's family-oriented like Cancers and known for being a "go to" place for families. It's also known for pancakes, which is comfort food and Cancers are comforting. Their slogan is "Come hungry, leave happy" and that’s what Cancers literally try do do... make everyone happy. However, you may have a rude waitress that will kill the vibe, which is fitting because Cancers are known for killing the vibes with their emotional outbursts.
Denny’s is Taurus. This classic restaurant is old school, reliable, and boring just like Tauruses. At Denny’s, you really only like one thing and know what you are getting each time and Tauruses love sticking to the same routine. They find comfort in structure and similar to Denny’s, they give the same thing every single time. Taurus friends are the parents of the group and Denny’s is like the grandparents of chain restaurants. Denny’s and Taurus have the same boring old vibe.
Chipotle is Virgo. The assumption is they are always right and don’t compromise, just like when you ask for extra chicken and they won’t give it to you. Why? Because they know they are right and know what they are doing, so they don’t need your opinion on how to make your food. There is no drive-thru because just like Virgos, they love to inconvenience people. The food is great and they have some healthier alternatives, which is right up Virgos' alley because they are health freaks.
Disclaimer: All of these descriptors are jokes and the hope is they made you smile so you won't take yourself too seriously. Don't get upset, let it ruin your day, or shoot the messenger. I'm not the author or originator and don't know who is, but I found this public post on Facebook. I'm a Virgo (Chipolte) and it made me laugh, so I decided to share it on my blog!
